discombobulated

That seems to be the prevalent state of my mind these days. I feel antsy. I don’t want to be here, yet I have another month of sitting around waiting for the next step. Meanwhile, there are things that need tending to, that are not getting done… because I’m feeling antsy and discombobulated. It’s all so very circular. My family is not helping, simply by being around; even though they are not actually hovering, I feel like they are in my face, all the time. I need my space and breathing room, yet when I get a few hours of that, I just waste it away. I feel like my priorities are a little askew at the moment. There should be a way to organize all this new stuff going on in my life in a coherent, manageable way. Maybe because there’s been a whole lot of nothing for so long that with a spurt of activity and stuff, I get all disoriented, not sure what to focus on when. I need to do something about that, because I’m going to have a busy, busy year coming up and I also want to fully enjoy all the possibilities it is already suggesting. I need to shape up, get some discipline installed in my life, or else I’m going nowhere fast.

Posted: May 28, 2005

11 Comments »

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  1. “I need my space and breathing room, yet when I get a few hours of that, I just waste it away.”
    hmm-m, so do I and don’t understand myself.
    not sure if disciplining would work…

    Comment by angel-A — May 28, 2005 @ 5:23 am

  2. possibly, our bodies and minds need some time of full relaxation before the busy year starts.
    don’t be hard on yourself! take your time, enjoy summer time ;-)

    Comment by angel-A — May 28, 2005 @ 5:25 am

  3. oh I know - I definitely need some chill-out time. But here’s the thing. There’s something truly wonderful and special going on right now that means a lot to me - and I need to find a way to harness the energy I get from this so that it effects my life in general in a positive, productive way. I owe it to myself to try :)

    Comment by sakura — May 28, 2005 @ 6:19 am

  4. good luck with wonderful and special!

    Comment by angel-A — May 28, 2005 @ 6:33 am

  5. The angels right Sakura! Just go with the flow and the moments will occur. How prophetic eh? LOL

    This opportunity could lead you to a beginning that may not bring you back to your home here, as of course we can’t control our destinies.

    So, my advice would be to take all of it in that you’ve had for quite awhile here, as you may not get the time to enjoy it in the future. And I know your parents live here, and that you’ll be back to visit them, but I mean doing stuff on your own. Since you have a month to go, go enjoy it,live your life, free without worry.

    Comment by Brendan — May 28, 2005 @ 3:09 pm

  6. soon you’ll be free :D

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