the little things

That seems to be the prevalent state of my mind these days. I feel antsy. I don’t want to be here, yet I have another month of sitting around waiting for the next step. Meanwhile, there are things that need tending to, that are not getting done… because I’m feeling antsy and discombobulated. It’s all so very circular. My family is not helping, simply by being around; even though they are not actually hovering, I feel like they are in my face, all the time. I need my space and breathing room, yet when I get a few hours of that, I just waste it away. I feel like my priorities are a little askew at the moment. There should be a way to organize all this new stuff going on in my life in a coherent, manageable way. Maybe because there’s been a whole lot of nothing for so long that with a spurt of activity and stuff, I get all disoriented, not sure what to focus on when. I need to do something about that, because I’m going to have a busy, busy year coming up and I also want to fully enjoy all the possibilities it is already suggesting. I need to shape up, get some discipline installed in my life, or else I’m going nowhere fast.

sprouting leaf lettuce

Originally uploaded by sa_ku_ra.

I think I totally jumped the gun, but I went ahead and transplanted my vegetable seedlings into the ground. I hope this was not a mistake and that the temp. stays moderate enough for them to stay alive outside. That said, it was quite satisfying to see my cucumber, tomatoes, eggplant, basil, and winter squash all esconced in their designated places. Still a lot of space between them but in a few weeks they’ll fill out for sure.

Also started to do some packing. I’ve been acquiring furniture in bits and pieces over the past week or so. Having sold or given away most furniture I owned during my last move, I’m kinda starting from scratch again. More reason to feed my IKEA addiction.

The plan was to go birdwatching with Sraah again today, but since no one else was around to look after the dog, I had to cancel (it would have been a glorious day for it too)… and it looks like it’s going to rain tomorrow for Victoria Day. Birding postponed until next weekend

Someone up there is reminding me that I have work to do.

may 21 2005

Originally uploaded by sa_ku_ra.

I’ve been deliriously happy lately.

If only I could also get my work done, LOL.

I succumbed to the relaxing long weekend vibe and worked on the yard today. Much of what needed to be transplanted got taken care of. Now I’m waiting for a little bit of rain.

Work tomorrow, bird-watching trip the next.

may 20 2005

Originally uploaded by sa_ku_ra.

You ever have days that are unbelievably nice out and work is the last thing you want to do?

Today was one of these days. Try again tomorrow. Too bad I didn’t make it a point to actively enjoy it.

There’s a large partially submerged locust tree by the edge of the water near my house and the local cormorants like to hang out there on days like this. When I took this, there was only one of them there - but other times of the day, I saw an upward of six, male and female, all sunning happily.

getting a little feline love

Originally uploaded by sa_ku_ra.

One development over the last month or so has been this change in my attitude toward people and the world around me. I had been so guarded, even scared of finding connections with people I had yet to meet. All of a sudden, I am curious about the unknown again and my soul is wide open. It’s not that I feel lonely - I always do anyway - but I’m feeling bold enough to take some chances to see what happens, to see if I click with people. So far, I’ve been rewarded richly - many new friends, and possibly something more.

I remember a post a while back in my old blog where I was saying pretty much the reverse… and you guys were telling me that I was wrong. Heh, you guys were right. Thanks for putting up with me

may 13 2005

Originally uploaded by sa_ku_ra.

The pavement littered with flower petals.

I was out of town for a few days, checking out the town I’m going to move to in a month and a bit. I decided on an apartment - a house, actually - which is a lovely place, but also comes packaged with an awesome landlord and neighbors. My hunch about the school and the town was proven correct. I think I’m going to be very happy there, if only for a year.

A lot of thoughts. It’s been an intense couple of days. Strong emotions have been awakened in an area that has been dormant for a long time. It makes me happy and insane. Emotionally raw about so many things, but I feel strong enough to see them through this time.

I drove there and back for a total of about eleven hours in two days. It was balmy and humid on the way there, crisp and windy on the way back. Lake Erie looked beautiful along the way. I passed many vineyards both along Erie and the Niagara peninsula. I also drove past an accident which appeared fatal. There was a bloodied man covered in a sheet on the pavement along I-90 just as I crossed into New York State from Pennsylvania. A dozen or so state police cars were closing off a part of the highway as we drove past the scene.

how much more canadian can you get?

Originally uploaded by sa_ku_ra.

I’m road tripping to Ohio for the next two days to check out a potential apartment. I’ve pretty much decided on this one place and just need to see it for myself. It’s affordable, within walking distance to the school, and I have nice landlords and neighbours (the family that lives in the other half of the house is the landlord’s son’s family). I hope it works out.

Posted this pic with this entry since I know I’ll be stopping by the Timmies at the Fort Erie Duty Free place. Five and a half hours isn’t too bad a drive. I’ll be listening to my tunes and thinking happy thoughts.

may 8 2005

Originally uploaded by sa_ku_ra.

A piece of brick wall by the water. I’ve always wanted to prowl around the Leslie Street Spit and finally had my chance today. I combined it with a birdwatching excursion with a friend from YGG, Sarah - who graciously showed me her home and garden with her partner, Jonathan. Meeting them for the first time was one of the highlights of my generally happy day. So at the Spit, Sarah and I sat in this area for a few hours, chatting and scoping out shorebirds with our binoculars and bird books. It was so relaxing and the weather was gorgeous. Seeing a huge flock of longtailed ducks was the birding highlight. Many cormorants around - seeing a group fly over against the blue sky, Sarah noted that it would make a beautiful fabric design. I agreed.

I was really into this piece of brick wall.

may 7 2005

Originally uploaded by sa_ku_ra.

I was going to wait until midnight to post this, but oh well. Tomorrow’s my actual birthday, but I decided to celebrate by myself today. Year 36 was pretty eventful. For the first time in a while, I’m looking forward to what could happen in this upcoming year. 37, baby!

Hoping for a better performance out of Team Canada tomorrow against Finland.After the game, I’m going bird-watching.

may 5 2005

Originally uploaded by sa_ku_ra.

There was a lot going on today. Unexpected visitor, unexpected early birthday present. Some leads for housing I’m waiting to hear back from. The weather was appropriately spring-like and my seedlings had a nice sun-bath outside for the afternoon. Canada beat the US 3-1 in World Championship action in Austria. I love Marty Brodeur.